daccodacc:

I laughed so hard no sound came out

shared 1 hour ago on July/29/2014, with 257,329 notes.
reblogged from morsmordor, originally from iguanamouth.

shared 1 hour ago on July/29/2014, with 98,054 notes.
reblogged from joshpeck, originally from thepacificatlantic.

urulokid:

That… Is not what I expected

shared 1 hour ago on July/29/2014, with 60,091 notes.
reblogged from li0nsandtigers, originally from urulokid.

ruinedchildhood:

let’s not forget how mertil’s dad abandoned her

shared 1 hour ago on July/29/2014, with 151,885 notes.
reblogged from li0nsandtigers, originally from ruinedchildhood.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

” — Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via disappolnted)

shared 1 hour ago on July/29/2014, with 41,835 notes.
reblogged from 13-6-14, originally from feellng.

shared 2 hours ago on July/29/2014, with 507,624 notes.
reblogged from ruinedchildhood, originally from sizvideos.

nofaddano:

guy: psstt! look at me while you suck. i wanna see those eyes
girl: *looks up*
guy: image

shared 2 hours ago on July/29/2014, with 148,123 notes.
reblogged from ruinedchildhood, originally from nofaddano.

crocsy:

Sexting

shared 2 hours ago on July/29/2014, with 37,356 notes.
reblogged from ruinedchildhood, originally from crocsy.

shared 4 hours ago on July/29/2014, with 136,127 notes.
reblogged from oakeland, originally from sexual-passion.

getyourassbeat:

opens window curtains, takes 50 selfies in natural light, closes window curtains

shared 4 hours ago on July/29/2014, with 242,281 notes.
reblogged from morsmordor, originally from getyourassbeat.